Who are We? The Power (and Difficulty) of Inner-Knowing

A note on the photos accompanying this post, all from Photo Hound, of a water fountain by Jakov Brdar on Locksmith Street, or Klučavničarska Ulica, in Ljubljana, Slovenia

I happened upon this fountain as I was puzzling over who I am (and we are) against the backdrop of society, loved ones, community, algorithms, capitalism, etc, and it seemed to fit this line of thought. At the higher elevation there is a spigot that releases water, which flows down a bronze gutter with hundreds of faces. The faces at the higher elevation of the fountain are of youth. Their faces are more distinguishable and have more depth than the faces that are found as the water flows down along the gutter. The faces at the bottom represent the aged. The elderly faces are harder to make out and flatter to the gutter. Could it be because, as children, we are less influenced by the expectations of society and the demands of adult life and can fully be our unique selves?

Why Share Thoughts at all? (and thoughts from my voice, not driven by templates of success or algorithmic preference)

This is my first time putting my musings out there to whoever may come across them on the internet. I’m trying to write from me, not from what the algorithm shows me other people are writing or creating. (And theoretically, creating successfully, since LinkedIn, Instagram, Google searches are highlighting those prose). It’s REALLY hard. Lots of people are doing amazing things. And there is a fine line between inspo/exemplars of success on the one hand, and losing sight of your truth and your unique path on the other. 

Why put anything out there at all? And why do so in a voice that is true to you, to your inner-knowing? Well, each of us has a voice, a perspective, a history of experiences, and a way of communicating. And one person’s way of communicating may not resonate, while another person’s style does. If everyone in the world were to write their own autobiography, it wouldn’t be a waste of paper! How much do we learn about others as well as ourselves by hearing another voice, another perspective? And the perspectives, mixed with the ways of communicating them, are endless. Everyone's voice has value, so let's all put our thoughts out there in case they are useful to someone!

Why Listen to your Inner-Knowing (aka Your Heart's Eye)?

I am me; you are you. And I believe strongly in listening to our own inner voices and inner-knowings (hence your heart’s eye). Why? That clears a path towards personal fulfillment. You can make big (and small) decisions. You understand and are comfortable with trade-offs that might be necessary. Because you know you. You have confidence moving through the world as you are doing what you must. You trust you’ll be OK no matter what because you know you can handle what comes in your own unique way. Even if you haven’t seen it modeled to you before, if what you are doing goes against the template. Because it is true to you.

Your inner-knowing gives you power. Listening to it brings confidence to turn the life you dream of into reality. The only difference between those who are living their dreams and those who are wishing they could be is the knowledge of self. Just imagine the energy and space you have when you’re not depleted from people-pleasing (or societal-construct-pleasing) because you know what is right for you, and you know that listening to that has nothing to do with anyone else, will not hurt anyone else, and you do not worry about what anyone else may think or say. No more feeling guilty about your choices, no more focusing on the "shoulds". You accept yourself as you are.

Knowing and accepting oneself also creates space for greater acceptance of others. If you can accept yourself, there is no harm in accepting others who are different because that does not threaten who you are. All are welcome. 

Inner-knowing, Acceptance, and (raising) the Collective

The more people who truly feel acceptance-of-self (the good and the bad, the light and the shadow), the less division, polarization, and hatred we would see at the collective level. Democracy could function! Those in power might be willing to reach compromise, which is at the very heart of governance! Governing for all, not just for the red or the blue (to use the US political party colors). Great research by serious social scientists has found that perception of threat causes people to become more tribal, to close ranks against an “other.” And when do people perceive threat? When their self worth is in question. But if you know yourself, and you accept yourself, your self worth is never in question! (There’s much more to say on this but for another time, as I digress!).

If we are all confidently standing in our truth, acting in our truth, what a beautiful tapestry the collective would weave. 

It’s hard to do though, because there is so much distraction. There are so many people in our lives that want the best for us, who we love, or who we want to be loved by; there are the requirements of a capitalist system, people that we view as successful, or people who may seemingly model to us what not to do. There are paths we expect will lead to community, success, family, accolades, or alternately isolation, failure, censure, denigration. With so many influences coming at us all the time–often from a well-meaning place–how do we figure out who WE are? 

...but how do I cultivate inner-knowing?

Create space – even like 10 minutes a week at first – to get to know your inner world. There are lots of ways of doing that. Things I definitely intend to write about in the future. But as this is my first time putting something publicly out into the world, I am keeping this post reflective(-ish). More to come in this!

So, Who am I? (yes, this is a bit trivial)

An example of how it can be hard to know things about ourselves because of all the outside influences: I was on a walk the other day and realized what food I like. I am 40. But my wonderful circle of friends and the culture of the community I inhabited in my early adulthood leaned towards a “foodie” persuasion. All these years I’ve thought I’ve cared about interesting food, ingredients, and taste. But it dawned on me that my food preferences lean towards getting my five-a-day and an acceptable amount of protein with as minimal chemicals/processing/artificial ingredients as possible. Like, honestly, taste doesn’t even matter to me. I feel good when I know I’ve had a day’s serving of fruit and veg, protein, and minimal modifiers. That’s me happy and done. 

That illustration is a little silly but it was an a-ha moment that even something as trivial (while also biologically essential) as food choice was conditioned into me. Because me just wants fruit, veg, protein, and, well, sweets. (In fact the focus on the health bit is probably because I am very generous with my need for sweets). Imagine all the other things - big, small, deep, trivial - that have been conditioned.

So, who am I? When I strip away the conditioning of my social influences, I am someone who just wants healthy sustenance and isn’t too worried about taste. (Knowing this is going to save me a great deal of money going forward!). 

Who are you? What might tuning into your inner voice mean for you? Deep or silly realizations welcome!